Has any small business that doesn't know how this works had a good experience migrating online? My bet is hell no.

Welcome to the QuickBooks Community, Mike.

I'd love to help you with your concern about migrating, but can you please share more information about it? Are you having trouble migrating to QuickBooks? Any additional information would help us provide the best resolution to your issue.

The Community forum is always open to help you again if you have other concerns with QuickBooks. Have a good one.

@mike-myoceanair- 

Any specific concern?